Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
