I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
