dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize