Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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