whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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