I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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