just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Enjoy the penises
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The Olympian is in my bed
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
