I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
