So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
