i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize