An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
