my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
