arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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