found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
