But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
