I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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