the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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