we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
this is an emotional support booty call
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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