I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It's shark week go big or go home
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
