Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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