Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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