oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
