It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
