Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
