I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
