walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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