I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
