another moral hangover. fuck.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
