imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
