I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
