One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Two words: nipple clamps
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