no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
