Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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