If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
