she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I miss vodka workout Fridays
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
