I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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