I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
