I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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