All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
