I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
