Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
