We won't sleep together?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
