I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
