new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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