It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
