Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
