carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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