I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
