she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
