yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
