Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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