There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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