I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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