My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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