I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
